Have you ever met someone and thought "it's too good to be true?"
The stories this person claim are right out of a hollywood movie, they claim to be successful, intelligent, successful and talented, and not shy about how grandiose they make themselves out to be. I call this personality trait, "DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR." However, not many can back up their story or you are prevented from verifying it with anyone. You start to get a feeling in the back of your mind that maybe this person is a liar. Whenever you get that feeling, you should listen to it because you are probably onto the right track. This is your brain telling you to "wake up!"
Sure, we have friends who are good bullshitters and tell a good story but ultimately in the end, you wonder if that person actually believes their own stories. These people are pathological liars and they don't even remember their own lies.
It's a good test to bring up these lies on another meeting and see if the story changes or if they remember it at all. They are pathological and their lies range from little ones to big ones, they can even take a true fact but the explanation behind that fact is completely made up by the psychopath. Everyone is capable of lying but normal people usually grow out of it by the age of 12 and usually learn a lesson that lying doesn't always pay, and that its also handwork keeping up with all those lies!
But most importantly, psychopaths and sociopaths do not think that there is anything wrong with them. They think that their behavior is normal. When it comes to blame, they blame everyone else but themselves. They refuse to take responsibility, especially for their actions and feel ZERO remorse.
They are NOT self aware.
In fact, they constantly believe that when something happens, that they are the victim.
A psychopath doesn't necessarily mean they are a serial killer (this is only a small percentage of them that are violent in nature). Your first thought of the word psychopath probably makes you immediately think of Anthony Hopkins in the movie Hannibal or Red Dragon. A very smart psychologist with a sick and twisted nature for mutilating his victims without feeling an inch of remorse. This is just, one type.
The other type is the type that walks amongst us in society, con-men. They come in all different shapes and sizes. They are not all violent like Hannibal Lector but they have no feelings when screwing someone out of money, real estate or any valuable possessions. Peppered with pathological lies. They can infiltrate into any function in society, they can be real estate agents, lawyers, psychologists, CEO's, doctors, postal worker, coffee maker, taxi driver, IT professional, unemployed, they can be anything.
There are articles upon articles in the newspaper full of them. People who con the elderly out of their retirement money, unemployed men who tell women that they love them but need their credit card to go buy themselves a fancy new car. The colleague who sabbotages everyones work and get the boss fired in order to take it for themselves by manipulating everyone around them. The stories are endless.
These are psychopaths that live and operate around us. They are in our workplace, in our families, professionals operating businesses. They are everywhere. But what and who and how do we detect them? Well there isn't a sure proven way except for using common sense.
I would refer to Dr Hare's method of psychopathy scale: PCL-R. Where ever you go to find information on psychopaths, there is constant reference to the PCL-R checklist by psychologist Dr Robert Hare. This man has dedicated his life to identifying psychopaths, more of his brilliant mans work is found here:
http://www.hare.org/
As people, if we want to have a stress free life from psychopaths we need to educate ourselves and very quickly how to spot a psychopath quickly as we will meet many people in our lifetime. The Hare checklist is the perfect quick reference guide for this.
The stories this person claim are right out of a hollywood movie, they claim to be successful, intelligent, successful and talented, and not shy about how grandiose they make themselves out to be. I call this personality trait, "DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR." However, not many can back up their story or you are prevented from verifying it with anyone. You start to get a feeling in the back of your mind that maybe this person is a liar. Whenever you get that feeling, you should listen to it because you are probably onto the right track. This is your brain telling you to "wake up!"
Sure, we have friends who are good bullshitters and tell a good story but ultimately in the end, you wonder if that person actually believes their own stories. These people are pathological liars and they don't even remember their own lies.
It's a good test to bring up these lies on another meeting and see if the story changes or if they remember it at all. They are pathological and their lies range from little ones to big ones, they can even take a true fact but the explanation behind that fact is completely made up by the psychopath. Everyone is capable of lying but normal people usually grow out of it by the age of 12 and usually learn a lesson that lying doesn't always pay, and that its also handwork keeping up with all those lies!
But most importantly, psychopaths and sociopaths do not think that there is anything wrong with them. They think that their behavior is normal. When it comes to blame, they blame everyone else but themselves. They refuse to take responsibility, especially for their actions and feel ZERO remorse.
They are NOT self aware.
In fact, they constantly believe that when something happens, that they are the victim.
A psychopath doesn't necessarily mean they are a serial killer (this is only a small percentage of them that are violent in nature). Your first thought of the word psychopath probably makes you immediately think of Anthony Hopkins in the movie Hannibal or Red Dragon. A very smart psychologist with a sick and twisted nature for mutilating his victims without feeling an inch of remorse. This is just, one type.
The other type is the type that walks amongst us in society, con-men. They come in all different shapes and sizes. They are not all violent like Hannibal Lector but they have no feelings when screwing someone out of money, real estate or any valuable possessions. Peppered with pathological lies. They can infiltrate into any function in society, they can be real estate agents, lawyers, psychologists, CEO's, doctors, postal worker, coffee maker, taxi driver, IT professional, unemployed, they can be anything.
There are articles upon articles in the newspaper full of them. People who con the elderly out of their retirement money, unemployed men who tell women that they love them but need their credit card to go buy themselves a fancy new car. The colleague who sabbotages everyones work and get the boss fired in order to take it for themselves by manipulating everyone around them. The stories are endless.
These are psychopaths that live and operate around us. They are in our workplace, in our families, professionals operating businesses. They are everywhere. But what and who and how do we detect them? Well there isn't a sure proven way except for using common sense.
I would refer to Dr Hare's method of psychopathy scale: PCL-R. Where ever you go to find information on psychopaths, there is constant reference to the PCL-R checklist by psychologist Dr Robert Hare. This man has dedicated his life to identifying psychopaths, more of his brilliant mans work is found here:
http://www.hare.org/
As people, if we want to have a stress free life from psychopaths we need to educate ourselves and very quickly how to spot a psychopath quickly as we will meet many people in our lifetime. The Hare checklist is the perfect quick reference guide for this.
The Hare Psychopathy Checklist consists of 20 items which are rated 0 to 2, zero meaning 'does not apply', one 'applies somewhat' and two 'applies fully'.
The 20 items of the Hare Psychopathy Checklist:
1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM - smooth talking, verbally agile, a psychopath is rarely stuck for something to say. They are not in the least bit shy. In fact, they are not afraid to say anything!
2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH - they have an opinion on everything, they boast and brag about the things they have done, their skills and abilities. They have enormous egos, plenty of confidence and arrogance and consider themselves superior. One psychopath said that he preferred to hear himself talk, because what he said was more interesting than what other people had to say.
3. SEEK STIMULATION or PRONE TO BOREDOM - they like to be doing new and different things, always looking for excitement and entertainment. They take risks in what they do as well as what they say. For example, cult leaders, in a subtle way, may explain to their victims how exactly they are manipulating them. They rarely engage in activities that they find boring, or they don't finish the job.
4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING - their ability to lie is stunning, even when they know there is a high probability of being caught. Lies can be cunning and sly or unscrupulously manipulative.
5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS - they deceive, cheat, con, bilk, trick or defraud others for personal gain. This is separated from no. 4 to the extent that the subject shows 'callous ruthlessness', that is, a lack of concern or pity for the suffering and feelings of their victims.
6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT - despite their words they experience little emotion or concern for the pain and suffering of their victims. They are unfazed, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. There is often a disdain for the victims, and they may even say the victims deserved it.
7. SHALLOW AFFECT - emotional poverty or very shallow feelings, coldness towards others despite seeming very friendly.
8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY - a general lack of feelings towards other people. They tend to be heartless, contemptuous, indifferent and tactless.
9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE - they will intentionally manipulate and exploit others for financial gain. This goes along with poor motivation and little self-discipline and no sense of responsibility in terms of earning their own living.
10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS - there may be sudden expressions of annoyance, irritability, aggression and verbal abuse. There may be sudden outbursts of anger and temper and they may act hastily.
11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR - they may have many brief encounters, many affairs while married, and may be indiscriminate in selecting partners (heterosexual and homosexual relationships) and even maintain several relationships at the same time. There is often a history of attempting to coerce many people into sexual relationships and they may take great pride in discussing their sexual conquests.
12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS - there is often a history of antisocial behavior before age 13, including lying, stealing, cheating, vandalism, bullying, truancy, sexual activity, fire-setting, substance abuse, and running away from home. Cruelty to animals or siblings is particularly ominous.
13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS - while they talk about big plans, they show an inability or persistent failure to execute long-term goals; then may drift from one place to another lacking any real direction in life.
14. IMPULSIVITY - many of their behaviors are not premeditated and seem to be unplanned. They seem unable to resist temptation and urges or to delay gratification. They may not consider the consequences and so they appear reckless, foolhardy and unpredictable.
15. IRRESPONSIBILITY - they will repeatedly fail to honor commitments or obligations, in school, work, family or social situations. The fail to turn up, don't pay bills, fail to honor contracts etc.
16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS - it seems like it's never their fault or their responsibility. They have little or no sense of duty or conscientiousness and often deny their responsibility. And in denying, they will even try and manipulate others!
17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS - inability to maintain a long-term relationship because they are inconsistent and unreliable.
18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY - behavioral difficulties between the ages of 13-18. Typically behaviors that are crimes or are clearly manipulative, aggressive and callous.
19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE - they may have had their probation revoked for technical reasons such as failing to appear, carelessness and so on.
20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY - unlike other criminals who may specialize in one area they are often involved in diverse activities, taking great pride at getting away with crimes.
If it were up to me, this should be taught in all schools to all teenagers preparing to get out into the world and workforce. People should be aware of psychopathic and sociopathic behavior as much as everyone is aware of climate change.
There will be less time wasted in courts and less time, money and heartbreak lost.
Could you imagine how quiet our court system would be if it weren't for psychopaths and sociopaths?
There will be less time wasted in courts and less time, money and heartbreak lost.
Could you imagine how quiet our court system would be if it weren't for psychopaths and sociopaths?
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